recognizing success

So I've hit a bit of a plateau. I am SIX pounds away from a MAJOR milestone, but have yo-yo-ed around with two pounds for the last month or so.

This has really been getting me down: to be so close! yet seemingly so far!


Feeling not so hot, I was reluctant about meeting up with a friend, who I haven't seen in more than a year. But I mussed my hair, threw on some jeans and slumped out the door to sip an obligatory beer (that my tummy later regretted).

I showed up and she did a double take, didn't really say anything and then handed me this photo, as a present.

This is me and my fabulous dog Moe at the beach in July 2011. I was shocked by this photo. I didn't really recognize myself or realize how much my body has changed since then. (note I am not the furry creature... jackasses)

20 pounds later, May 25 2012

down 35 pounds, coated in mud after Foam Fest. Aug 2012

I've lost a total of 37lbs since the top photo, I'm down two pant sizes, I found muscles I didn't know existed and I am incomparably happier with my life.


While I am continuing to work my butt off, I am pausing to say HEY LADY YOU'RE FUCKING AWESOME.

So I shake my fist at those last six pounds, I'll get you.

Don't pull the trigger: BAM

Struggling with disordered eating for most of my teenage years, I've developed negative associations with certain foods. Some trigger mindless snacking (hello chips and salsa), some trigger purging (ice cream), some just make me feel sad depressed and generally like BLAH.

I've often wondered WHY that is. Is it something in my childhood? Some traumatic ice cream incident?
Actually, I did vomit ice cream all over my high chair at Old Country Buffet when I was like 3 years old (yes I remember that). But somehow I doubt this is why my stomach churns and my brain goes "behiavbieabvaan" when I eat certain things.

As most are aware, or I hope are aware, certain situations trigger certain behaviors. Example:
Watching tv late at night may trigger the "need" to eat or snack. (breaking that habit is quite the trick)


But it never occurred to me that WHAT I am consuming also has an emotional (hormonal) impact.

Reading It Starts With Food has shed some light on those emotional responses.
Since adopting a paleo lifestyle earlier this year, much of my trigger food doesn't typically find a home in my pantry anymore.
I did the whole30 in January and had great success. I tried to incoporate certain foods back into my diet and found I could eat/process dairy better than I could in the past.

Lately, I went a little too far and started incorporating dairy in the form of ice cream (Did I mention my loving wonderful partner has an insatiable sweet tooth?). While my tummy isn't super rumbly, I notice that my mood quickly deflates post ice cream indulgence. The grumpies stick around through the next day. I didn't really notice this until I found myself eating ice cream (coconut milk sorbet really) and the desire to purge snuck up and ATTACKED me. That's when I put the spoon down. And threw the carton away.

I refuse to go down that road. 

So I am back to ridding my pantry of any sweets and treats. I don't believe in cutting those foods out because they are "bad" or to limit myself so I lose weight or whatever. But really because I hate how they make me feel, they aren't good for me, and I make poor choices when they are in my diet.

Identifying my triggers and adopting the paleo lifestyle have been the two of the best things I've done for my body and my mental health. 

Whole30/9: Slip and Slide

The past couple days have been littered with little slips here and there.

• Clinking a couple PBRs in honor of my lovely lady Danielle, who is leaving Portland for grad school in the exotic land of LA.

• Desperation dark chocolate mid afternoon of stressful days. 

Yes Dove, Someone is thinking I should put the chocolate away and focus.

 

But, I refuse to beat myself up over it.
Instead, I look at the situation and then move on. Why did I make that choice? All in all, I think the importance of the whole30 is being cogniscent of food choices. Why am I doing what I am doing? Boredom? Stress? Social pressures? Doesnt seem like eating should be so complicated.

Yet, it is! I am in the thick of It Starts with Food, by the lovely couple who started Whole9 (and subsequently Whole30). It is fascinating. The book immerses you in all the science behind food; how it reacts and interacts with our body, from digestion to hormonal responses. And it does so in a way that is not overwhelming or too dense to comprehend.

I highly recommend it. It actually helps keep me on track.

We all have those days. "why the fuck can't I just eat the damn cookie" Well.... let me go back to my book and discover alllllll of the sad things that cookie does to my body, emotional and physical. If I understand those and make the decision that it is still okay to eat it then fine, but usually by the time I have thought about whether or not the chocolatey goodness is worth it, the NEED has passed.

How do you handle slips? Can you effectively move on without the guilt?

Whole30/Day 6: Camping adventures

I have the coolest family.

They are crazy. But seriously awesome.

We did our summer family camping trip this past weekend on the Oregon coast. SO beautiful.
I woke up early Saturday morning and went for a run down the coast line. Incredible. My calves were paying for it though.









Staying whole30 was more of a challenge than usual this weekend. We are a family that loves to have a good time, wine and cocktails are free-flowing.
I imbibed a little (a glass of wine and one gin and tonic), but overall was pretty "good" all weekend. I avoided my mother's brownie pizza (This amazing thing she made for us as kids... make brownies in a deep dish pizza pan, cover it with toppings like marshmallows, m&ms, fudge, and other sugary treats).

Overall my family is full of fantastic cooks. Beautiful steaks, nori cucumber salad, paleo granola, fancy shmancy camping cob salads. We eat well, possibly better, when we camp.

My sister put together this amazing vanilla and orange granola for breakfast from Fresh4Five's blog. Amazingly tasty. I highly recommend it.

My contribution to camping was a sweet potato beet breakfast hash, served with eggs and bacon and such nonsense.

Its a breakfast staple in my house.... I shred a bunch of potatoes and beets early in the week and then cook a simple portion for breakfast in the morning. It is perfect post workout recovery food!


Sweet Potato Beet Hash

    (food processor NECESSARY)

• 1 sweet potato
• 2 medium size beets (golden or red)
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 tbls coconut oil
• 1 tsp  fresh ginger, grated
• salt and pepper to taste

Shred potato and beets with food processor (grate attachment).

Melt coconut oil over medium-high heat in a large saute pan. Add onion and saute until translucent, about 4-5 minutes. Add ginger to onion mixture and saute for 1-2 minutes, until fragrant. Reduce heat and add sweet potato/beet business. Sprinkle with salt to release moisture. Add more coconut oil if pan gets too dry. Cook for 15-25 minutes, until potatoes are cooked through and start to crisp (hashbrown style). Stir every few minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

I like to eat mine with a couple eggs on top and some sauteed greens on the side. NOM.

Whole 30/2

Woo. Day two is off and running.

I am seriously reaping the benefits of planning my meals from the week. My fridge is organized, there isn't a question of what to eat for dinner, and I dont make countless trips to the store, loading up on things I don't need.

Praise the lord.

Last night I made Nom Nom Paleo's Asian ground beef mushroom and slaw lettuce cups.

 

Except... as I read the recipe now, I should say last night's dinner was more inspired by that recipe. I used ground chicken instead of beef, forgot the broccoli and added bokchoy and a jalepeno. It was super tasty.
This is my version

Tasty enough I heated up leftovers this morning and through a couple fried eggs on top. Who says you can't have dinner for breakfast?

Whole August

Entering into another Whole30 challenge for the month of August with my buddies at MyFitnessPal. Looking forward to making some drastic changes.

Last challenge I lost 14.6 pounds and four inches off my waist

Hoping to lose 11 more and drop another pants size by August 31! 


Ready set go!

Disorder to Order

I am horribly shy.

kind of.

I mean I consider myself a shy person, my friends, coworkers and relatives may tell a different tale.

Perhaps my enthusiasm masks my shyness.

Perhaps.

But it is my enthusiasm I hope to share with you whenever you read. I am incredibly passionate about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. You'll notice I avoid the word "diet." If I do mention it, it is merely a reference to the food I choose to consume. The connotation of diet is so often ringing with "quick fix," "weight loss," "fat" "skinny" "temporary" that I'd rather not use it.

My diet is my lifestyle.

My lifestyle has changed dramatically during the past few years. I grew up, the youngest of five, in a very loving wonderful family. That being said, I was an extremely overweight child. Adorable, but fat. Let's be real.

No five year old should be worried about her weight. But I was. My weight became an emotional burden well into junior high and high school. Disordered eating became the norm. Bulemia coupled with a restrictive diet and lots of sports helped me shed 45 pounds off my 5'9" athletic frame in mere months. While I was fairly ecstatic about my new shape, my body was pretty angry with me. I was sick. All. The. Time.

I got awful stomachs pains. I was grumpy.

I started to lose my hair.

I have really awesome hair. I am not so keen on losing it.

Blame the media, social norms, obesity epedemic, whatever you like, but blame doesnt fix anything, this was something I did to myself.

Anyway, I tried to turn things around. And I did, fairly successfully. I got a handle on my bulemia. I'd be lying if I said I just turned around over night, but I managed to break the cycle.

I took my no-red meat diet a step further to pescatarian and then eventually to vegan.

I became a fabulous vegan chef. Seriously. I'm good. You do not miss meat when I cook for you.

Unfortunately, my weight started to creep up, I was tired, I was sick and I got these AWFUL doctor boggling stomach cramps.

It wasn't until I started at the fabulous Portland Fit Body Bootcamp in December and was promptly asked to throw my vegan ways out the window that things started to change for me. (I am stubborn, so it took a lot of time, reading, and persuasion for me to even consider eating meat).

 I've always been athletic, inspite of being overweight. I revel in my strength. My thunder thighs are a point of pride. Let me flex my calves for you.

Hauling my ass out of bed at half-past ridiculous five days a week to go sweat and push my body beyond all preconceived limits became my new norm. I loved it. While I could feel my body getting stronger during that first month and few stubborn pounds came off, I still wasn't feeling GREAT. I want to feel GREAT.

We started a New Year's Revolution Challenge in January. The challenge was to follow the Whole30 diet for six weeks, come to class at least four days a week and journal on progress.

Whole30 is a strict version of the Paleo diet: Plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables, grass-fed pastured meat, nuts seeds

This was incredibly transformative for me. I eased from vegan to paleo, replacing tofu and tempeh with eggs and fish. And when I couldnt STAND to eat fish ever again, I started incorporating poultry.

Now, much to my mother's surprise, I conjure up a steak for myself every now and again.

And guess what. I feel GREAT. 


So great.


It's been a bit of a roller coaster since then. Slips here and there. But there is an amazing, notcieable difference when I eat grains. I feel like shit. Nothing so awful as stomach cramps, if its just a little bit. But I am sluggish, moody, emotional, and much more likely to return to my binge-purge habit.

We just completed our second challenge and my FABULOUS team of ladies WON! WOOO! I lost a whopping 14.6 pounds and 13 inches off my body.

So my total weight loss since stepping on the scale in december has been 33 pounds.

My goal is to lose another 45lbs by the end of the year. With focus and determination and lots of support I will do it!